'Tis the season, for guests at all hours, and not enough hours in the day. I suppose that kind of sums our lives under normal circumstances, but it's totally worse in December. In December, we need to be prepared for locust-like feedings, on any and all leftovers, and snack foods. We need to be prepared at a moments notice to answer questions like "what do you have to dip this last sleeve of saltine crackers in?". Lucky for us, we come prepared. 

There are a million recipes out there for pimento cheese. But there are a few things you need to know if you want it to be really good. There are a few key ingredients that will take a mediocre dip, and make it into something partially drunk people swoon over, and fight for the crumbs.

First, pickle juice. Don't question me. Just trust that I am correct.

Second, under no circumstances are you to use those sad little jarred pimentos. Gross.

Third, don't try to omit the mayo. If you don't want mayo, you don't want pimento cheese. You don't even have to use a lot. But it is definitely part of the magic.

I would hope that it is obvious that you need to use decent cheese, and it must contain some sort of hot sauce (sriracha, or Tabasco are our favorites). It's also not a bad idea to double this recipe, just in case.

 

sriracha pimento cheese

• 8oz. cream cheese
• 8oz. good quality sharp cheddar cheese. shredded
• 3Tb. dill pickle juice
• 1/4 cup mayo
• 3 Tb. Sriracha
• 1 medium sized red bell pepper

Char the entire outside of the pepper, directly on cook-top (gas only, duh), grill, or broiler, until the outside is almost totally blackened. Place pepper in a covered bowl, or plastic bag, set aside. Combine remaining ingredients in large bowl until totally combined. Remove pepper from bowl, peel charred skin from the outside. Finely dice pepper, add to bowl. Mix to combine. Serve with bread, vegetables, or any stale vessel you may find in the depths of your cupboard.